A death of a colleague, Aaron last weekend provided me with an insight on the ways the living commemorate those who have passed on.
I had the pleasure of getting to know Aaron during several assignments when I was based in my company's headquarters in Kuala Lumpur.
Though we were never close as friends, it was easy to get to know him in our few encounters because of his friendly demenour.
It turns out I was not the only one who regarded him as a good natured person. Many fellow colleagues and friends remember him as a kind-hearted man who was always willing to help when it came to work.
Some described him as someone who never got angry.
News of his death due to respiratory-related complications came as a shock to many.
He had been unconscious for some time at the intensive care unit at a private hospital in Petaling Jaya.
The last I heard he had regained consciousness weeks prior to his death. I assumed he would make it and was on the road to recovery.
But those hopes were dashed when I received a call from a colleague on Saturday night that confirmed Aaron passed away at the ICU.
I called two other friends of mine to confirm about his death. One of them was Aaron's junior at his former workplace. His last job was as a reporter at a television news agency. The other was an entertainment reporter who was part of Aaron's circle of friends.
Both of them were unaware about the news, but they later confirmed it with their respective friends.
I was shocked and felt numb. The reality of it sank in after a few minutes of staring at my handphone. I would never see him again.
It is strange when one's peer dies. It reminds us of our own mortality. Aaron was only 40, and more or less of the same generation as I am.
The reality of it all hits a nerve whenever the death involves someone whom we have worked with. It is as if they were with us one moment, and gone the next.
I suppose death is like that. No one could ever predict when our time will come, or when people around us will leave us forever. No one is ever ready to face it.
Death is part and parcel of life, and it is something that will come in its due course. The death of our family members and friends stands as a reminder that we need to live our lives to the fullest and cherish the people around us.
I regret never visiting Aaron at the hospital because I assumed that when he regained consciousness, he was on his way to recovery.
At the back of my mind, I expected him to be back at work and updating his Facebook about his latest assignments and late nights at the office.
Most of all I regret delaying any intention of visiting him because of the fact that I was not that close to him, and that it may be awkward for me to be standing beside his family and close friends.
See what over-thinking could do sometimes?
Though I have experienced death of schoolmates and colleagues before, this time it seemed to be tinged with a lot of regret- the kind of regret of things I should have done when Aaron was alive.
It is unlike the time when a classmate of mine died after our big exam of Form Five.
It is unlike the incident when a schoolmate was killed after being hit by a car as he was crossing the road in front of my primary school in my hometown.
Deaths have been happening even in the media fraternity. Before Aaron, there was a bureau chief up north, Joshua who died after battling a severe disease three years ago.
Another TV cameraman, Nick was shot by a stray bullet while on assignment in a country plagued by civil unrest.
Though they were all different people, they were remembered for their deeds when they were alive. Joshua was an enthusiastic reporter who had a loud but infectious laugh, while Nick was said to be a very giving person.
The memory of these individuals live on with their families, friends and anyone whom were touched by their deeds.
It is like a novel I read recently about a single father who has to deal with his divorce and death of his father.
There is a part in the book, entitled Man and Boy by Tony Parsons in which the main character, Harry Silver has to explain to his young son, Pat about his grandfather's deteriorating health due to cancer.
Pat asks his father what happens when a person dies, and Harry struggles to find the right words. Instead, Harry rambles on about how some people believe the soul leaves the body and goes to another place, while others believe death is the beginning of the next cycle of existence.
Then Harry's young boy, who is 5 or 6 years old, bluntly asks : "What do you believe in"?
Though taken aback at the simple query, Harry says he believes the spirit continues to live on in the hearts of loved ones.
"I believe that too," is the boy's reply. Now that's a very smart kid, even though he may be fictional.

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One last thought......

I was never close to Aaron. In fact, we haven't spoken to each other in at least five years. We dated for a couple of times, but that's it. Yes, that's the truth. The last time I bumped into him, he was walking several feet away from me at the headquarters. He barely saw me. So why do I even think there was anything between me and him? Maybe because I wished we could have been more than friends. But life never works out the way you want it sometimes, does it? Take a chill pill, y'all