It's official. I am dating someone. It's a very complicated relationship: this person has his own shit, while I have my own shit about adjusting my routine to fit him into my life. (woah, I must be serious about him if I am actually "adjusting" my life)
And all that adjusting stresses me out. I rarely have any time for myself. But that's ok because it is a sacrifice I am willing to take- because I have not had a stable relationship for for more than 2 years - after my last break-up with you-know-who.

Friends advise me to take it easy and not put too much pressure on this guy I am dating. I should just enjoy the moment. But why is it so hard for me to simply enjoy myself?

There is no joy in my heart, I think sometimes. Where the fuck did it all go? Am I just stressed? I did cover an outstation assignment for a week recently, and my off days have been too few and infrequent. Or is it the work?

I always blame my work for all the unhappiness in my life. I feel I may be happier if I was not in my current occupation. But is that really the truth? I ask myself constantly: why do I want to quit? and I am never able to give a quick answer, or even any logical answer.

So, what? what? what?

Fucking questions which I don't need today, tomorrow or this afternoon.

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