Late Night Drive By

I cry at night. I drive around town all alone. I know I could call up some friends and be with them, but I don't. I miss him so much. He will be gone overseas for 6 months for work. I know he's returning at the end of the month for a break, but I still miss him. He still asks me to stay put at home, whenever I call and tell him I'm out and about- driving around aimlessly. (Come on, you can't control me all the time, lah. Ditto for me in controlling him- have to trust each other, meh)
This aimlessness is just like what it was for me before I met him.
It's dumbfounding. I chose to accept this position because of my family, and because of him. If I hadn't accepted the promotion, there was a possibility for me to be transferred elsewhere. Gosh, how paranoid am I? It was he who told me :"I have a choice, I could say no."
My boss had told me the same thing: "I could always say no."
I have only  said "no" once during my stint in this company. I think about that particular refusal of mine quite a bit. Honestly, I wonder whether my rejection of the request was influenced by other people. Or rather, I had said no because I wanted to be with someone in a certain location. Well, I think I got my come-up-ance now. I get to stay put where I am, but my beloved has to leave temporarily to work. How fucked up is fate, huh? It's like that time when I rejected an offer to further my studies in the north, only to be transferred there for work six years after that.
What goes around, comes around? Or perhaps it's the fact that you get what you give. For the record, despite my hesitation (and reluctance) to be transferred out of my company's headquarters many years ago, I accepted it, went through it, and became a better worker because of it. 
Now, what does all this prove, folks? That the fates are as twisted as an evil villain in a sci-fi flick? Maybe it shows, that we should lead a life on our own terms. Yes, being in love and head over heals is unavoidable- people need other people to live a happy life- but seriously, making decisions due to pressure from others is always shitty. At least if we decide something for ourselves, we can deal with the repurcussion ourselves. That it's our own decision, anyway. Hmmm, so I suppose I have to deal with the decisions I have made. Stick with your guns, as some people say.