Lonely boy laments, ends up feeling better

I think I am only as lonely as I want to be. I cannot describe how I feel- if you see me in person. But maybe I can write what I feel.

I used to do it a lot when I was a teenager in boarding school, and those lonely and weird months while waiting for my SPM exam results. And I continued doing it in adulthood. I wrote my feelings in university. Heck, I took an acting for beginner's class in which writing a journal was part of the final assessment.

When I began my work life, I started to write a blog. It was 2004 and well, blogs were the "in" thing back then. And it was a great way to express yourself in writing. I have a small group of friends who wrote blogs, so we always checked out each other's writings.

But now, 14 years after I started my blog....well there still remains some very popular blogs by prominent people in politics, entertainment, etc. But the craze of writing all those long-winded, indulgent pieces has died down somewhat.

Because in those 14 years, people have latched on to social media such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram which are less about words and more about brief things uploaded on your profile page. 

Well, Twitter has a letters limit(100 or so letters for each post, I think). I find Twitter trains me well for my year-end best song listings. I like to write about the best music of the year a la Rolling Stone magazine, SPIN and all those music mags we all love. So, Twitter disciplines me to keep my comments short and sweet.

Facebook is fabulous as it connected me to all my old friends from uni and school. And it was the go-to social media for many years....still is. Politicians put up official statements on their social media.

Instagram is of course, fabulous as well. All those photos and videos. I guess it is the most trendy of social media now.

Yes, so this posting is about the social media I use. What a yawn, right?

Ok. Seriously, Facebook is good for stalking your crush. Ok Instagram is also good to stalk if your crush is a dancer who likes to post insta stories of sweaty dance practices of himself and his friends. I ramble.

Twitter. I once thought Twiiter was just a place people make announcements. But alas, by using the right keywords to search, there is a lot of lovely things for everyone in this social media. Emmm

Sometimes I catch myself getting my eyes very much glued to the laptop screen, when I go on social media late at night. That will always remind me of what my colleague used to say about another older colleague who loved watching porn on the office computer.

"Layan filem blue, mata tak lepas. Nanti keras depan computer baru tau," was what my colleague would say of the old man. He had heart ailment and always looked sickly, so we assumed all that porn could get him too excited.

  Our late elderly colleague did not die in front of a computer (may he rest in peace). 

But there, I guess 14 years doing a blog makes you more comfortable writing about dead people.

Yes. There have been numerous deaths of people close to me in these past years.

It's strange, I was feeling a certain gamut of emotions today, and I felt like writing. But all the things I wrote above has absolutely nothing to do with what I am going through today.