Love hurts. Just ask Ennis Del Mar, one of the main characters in Brokeback Mountain.
There's a scene towards the ending where Ennis' lover, Jack Swift laments: "I wish I knew how to quit you," to which Ennis replies in between sobs: "Why don't you? Why don't you let me be?"
That's the whole movie right there. These two men are deeply in love with each other that neither one could let go. Society wouldn't allow them to be together so they meet every year, far away in Brokeback Mountain.
Love, I suppose, knows no boundaries of gender or sexuality.
Imagine being a guy, married, with kids but being in love with someone else- a guy no less.
By that scene in the movie, both Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) had spent each summer for the past 20 years going on so-called 'fishing trips'.
Those trips are only an excuse to get away from their families to go camping in Brokeback Mountain, the place where they first met on a sheep herding stint in 1963.
Though both men go about their spearate lives, neither could forget each other after that first time together.
So what else do they do lah- find an opportunity to meet up each year in the the guise of those fishing trips.
Though Ennis was too shocked and disgusted to make out with Jack at first, the hardened cowboy succumbs to Jack's affection- all in about two minutes- and then what follows is the raunchy, "full-blooded" sex scene everyone's been talking about.
As a man, I understand, the need for sex after being without it for a while. When you suppress desires for a long time, it could lead to one raunchy fuck fest- which is what Ennis and Jack had. Lucky bastards.
The next day, both men address what they did, Ennis leading the conversation: "I'm no queer." and Jack answers" Neither am I".
Both men vow to get along their lives. Ennis plans to marry his girlfriend while Jack wants to go back to the rodeo.
But instead of ignoring Jack (like what most straight men do after 'accidentally' fucking other men), Enis finds solace with the generously warm Jack.
While Ennis is the silent recluse, Jack is the outspoken optimist.
Jack is probably the only one who will ever understand Ennis. And Jack may be the only true love Ennis would ever have.
While both men have wives, they know how vital it is to keep their secret relationship alive.
Ennis wife (played by Ledger's real life partner Michelle Williams) loves him for what he is and Jack has his own wife Lureen (Anne Hathaway) Both women may not love the men in the same way.
And Ennis, has love all around. Clearly. He is the lucky one. Alma loves him, his daughter loves him and later in the movie, a waitress loves him, even blaming Ennis for shutting her out.
She confesses to Ennis at a diner "I don't get you Ennis Del Mar!"
Clearly Ledger shines in the movie, not entirely outshining his co-star Gyllenhaal but Ledger's character is more troubled, which means that he got the meatier of the two lead roles.
But don't mind the mumbling folks, for Ennis never seems to open his mouth when speaking. Blame that on Ledger who insisted the character be like that. These actors, what do they know?
I watched Brokeback after I couldn't get laid while on vacation back home. I reckoned I needed something uplifting for my unlucky streak (one fucking week of cruising and still no luck, what the hell man?)
But watching a movie with high expectations and hearing the whole world say "It's a good movie" can spoil your fun. Yes it was a great movie, but I only cried more when I thought about the movie later on.
I thought to myself, gosh that Heath Ledger is a fucking good actor. And those tears he sheds for his bloved Ennis is so mahal, ok.
You can feel the emotions jumping out of the screen. And that's a good sign cause it means the actor did a helluva job.
But please notice the other cast members. Jake Gyllenhaal has been producing nothing but stellar performances this year.
And the ladies in Brokeback make up a strong supppoting cast. Michelle Williams' Alma is honest in her portrayal of a woman who comes to terms with her husband's adulterous ways.
Ennis' daughter, the terribly sweet Alma (Kate Marashe looks like a young Frances McDormand gave me a toothache,
And Jack's wife, Lureen (Anne Hathaway) is a character so different from her chirpy Princess Diaries days- she transforms into this cold, distant wife of Jack.
In short the women of Brokeback rock thanks to a screenplay which fleshes out chunky roles for the women.
And if you think Brokeback is meant only for gay men, think again. There are two pairs of exposed breasts in the movie. One is Williams, the other is Hathaway's (ok, just one of them is exposed). But a good deal anyway right?
Did the movie change my life? Maybe a little- it made me become obsessed about a movie again. The first time I felt like this was with Gladiator six years ago.